Today was one of those days. Not for any particular reason, it just was. I am not absolutely fond of my long drive to class at Enmore Design Centre on a Monday morning - an hour and a half there and an hour and half back - mostly parked or crawling forward but I do usually enjoy the opportunity it gives me to just be me - not a mum, not a student, not a domestic goddess (ha). I put on my, my music really loud and sing along really loudly and do that strange driving a car dance where you shake your head and tap along on the steering wheel - you know the one - dance like nobody but the guy in the ute in front looking in his rear view is watching!
But today was different. I was full of negative self talk and self doubt. I did enjoy the release of Florence and the Machine full volume and a good cry but as I was doing this I was also thinking how I was not being a good enough mum, student, friend, partner - insert any number of things here - and 3 hours is a long time to indulge this kind of thinking. It did however lead me to another thought - how negative self talk is like a little Pac-Man in your head eating a path through all your good thoughts and self confidence. It was a metaphor I was enjoying exploring in my mind (as I am want to do) when a little white hatchback driven by a P Plater overtook me on the left - mostly because I was diving too slowly as I daydreamed and should really have gotten over. No word of a lie this is what they had stuck to their bumper bar
I instantly smiled, then laughed and realised if I was going to indulge this metaphor then how could I possibly be scared of these thoughts when they were so cute and colourful, besides they are a game and to start again all you need to do is reboot. Reboot - on top of tomorrows to do list, and I might not be so hard on myself as I work through the rest of the items.